Hello, I am basically a gal who loves God, her family and of course her dear dear Clark. Hmm not to forget my friends too! Currently in the process of finding out what she really wants to do for her life and prays that everyday is a good day with all her loved ones. :)

i felt like a beaten soldier.
i m not even attempting to resist anything.
haha tat's how weak i m
i just let those thots ran over me.

i have always been not a very strong girl.
not very good at dealing with my emotions
and often let them get the better of me.

This time round, I dun even feel like resisting.
I felt pretty useless.

I remember there was this worship song
that says
"in the end just to hear you say well done".

and secretly i was hoping for that...
to be praised and said well done.
hmm in the end it was quite sad to hear
that the results is still the same.

Have i not prayed enough?
Have i not done enough?
Was it because i really am just not good enough?
some of the recurring thots in my mind.

I wanted to do many things
many of which i already lost the right to do them.

I wish i could be positive like my frens.
they deal with issues better than me.
i wish i could keep quiet
and just let the waves hit over me.

But i dun know wat i can do now.
it's scary to realize that the things
you hold dearly disintegrating before you.
I couldn't stop any of the events in my life.
I couldn't stop my tears as well.

I guess it's time to be submerged.
hopefully i will come about quickly.