Hello, I am basically a gal who loves God, her family and of course her dear dear Clark. Hmm not to forget my friends too! Currently in the process of finding out what she really wants to do for her life and prays that everyday is a good day with all her loved ones. :)

i get sick easily but not the serious kind. rather it's more like a cold mostly due to tiredness. so my nose is running now. thank God it's more of a jog rather than a marathon.
i just finished watching the sunday svc. dun know whether is it because i m not on duty but rather at the comfort of my house, i m able to concentrate on the word much better. so i enjoy watching svc on a sun morning.

i just received healing just now. for the past 8 months plus, i was on a road of self-destruction. seriously. i struggled through a lot. i was really like a 2-sided person. when i was with friends, i m pretty all right. but the moment i was left alone, i can't really tell where my thoughts would go to. i literally destroy myself with the thoughts. i got depressed periodically like once per month (n nope, it's not due to the biological thing associated with girls). when u are depressed you felt like falling into a black hole. you just keep falling. i love God but somehow His love just couldn't fill up the hole sometimes. i pretty much guess that it is a root problem something that i have to solve by backtracking my memories. So on wed, i called up my cgl elaine to have a chat.

so i met up with her after my bs. i decided to share with her how i feel. the more i share the more i started to back-track my memories and i realised a lot stemmed out from my childhood. Those that affected me badly were school experiences. Many ppl knew that i m pampered but i dun usu behave pampered to them now. but when i was young, no one told me that that was wrong, i.e. to behave like a princess. So i did n the fact is i faced rejection at times with this attitude and i dun know y. i have friends not just accquitances but gd ones. yet i never felt satisfied. sometimes i would be worried that they will leave me because when i was pri 3, my friends did leave me crying alone because they feel that i was just too pampered. It went on to sec 3 until i received Christ.

Well i may have left my old man, i m still a product of my past. elaine really encouraged me to change my thinking. i tried n find it hard. Until today. pst shared abt all the things that could hinder a relationship n i really felt very touched. i din know that the sharing on wed is to help me unlock my memories so that God can reach out n heal me. it was exactly what God wants to speak to me.

Friends, i know a lot of you have been very concerned with me for the past few days. constant msgs of hi how are you feeling? anything u wan to share to me. thank you n i m sorry if i din not reply. many of u have linked it to my relationship. dun worry k? some of u have asked me do i wan to reconsider. because i was depressed i dun really know wat to say.

Over here i wan to make a final stand to myself n to my friends also.
I believed that Aaron is a gift from God to me. i know we have differences and there are ups and downs in our lives and there are times i felt insecure n uncertain because of my fears. But really he has always been there for me.
Next to God, he is my best protector, my best friend, my leader n most imptly lover.
I could never thank God enough for having him, my family and all u guys.

Thanks for staying through with me in this long post.

Thot of the day: Perfect love casts out all fear.